Sapiosexualism; The Desire, Myth and Reality

Sapiosexual is a neologism word (recently constructed word) that has come into common usage;, especially on social networking sites where some people are self-identifying as sapiosexual. Origins: From Latin root sapien, wise or intelligent, and Latin sexualis, relating to the sexes.

Sapiosexualism means when you meet some one who have mental intercourse with you, rarely so is when a person from the opposite gender who you meet kick a conversation with and find out you share a lot of intellectual properties together possibly you have read a certain kind of book and have similar level of intellect, study or interest and differing stance in well talked about topics like politics, love, religion and the manner and approach one should have towards life.

It involves a feeling of mental orgasm, Remember at the end of Ice Age, when Manny saw a herd of mammoth coming towards him and he scream I am not alone, yes, that feeling is similar to that, because all by your lonesome, you are just this one failed idealist who is now a cynic and can’t find someone who is not as ignorant as you are who can both lament about the world and its failed ideals together,

When you do find that person, the feeling is mostly out of this world you start doing things like finishing each other sentences laughing heartily to only jokes the two of you understand, eye contacts are enough, you even get  somewhat demisexualized when you are with the person, the smell of the person is enough for you, his or her laugh rings in your head, you tell the person everything that happens to you as you are both lost kryptonians in a world filled with earthlings. You understand every slang, smirk, and wink

In the mist of mutual friends you make faces, when they talk off point, make grammatical blunders or similar to a cartoon character you both know and understand just with a second lasting gesture, almost magical, you spend days together never stop talking to that person, you see no fault with such person and soon enough you start seeing her with a flower clutched in between her two hands and you in a suit thanking God for making you the luckiest man every night.  The feeling is very good and I pray you witness it at least once in your life, Few people witness this in their life, very few people witness this twice and movie stars who date each other have this feeling all the time.

Benefit of this is that the person is that he or she challenges you, you people become Mr,and Mrs Smith (which I feel is a good example) you challenge each other to be better.

Knowledge or intellect in its downside create in us needs and desires, This person is as intelligent if not more intelligent than you, and you have the desire that said person should  become your better half, and leave a sedentary life with you, probably stay at home, do the chores and welcome you back with her carefully written poem just to soothe you after a hard day’s work and you have wild sex and sleep It off to the next regurgitation. But as you have dreams so will this person and you are bound to have problems with clashing dreams. 

In truth, when you go sapiosexual you can’t go back, you will forever be lost looking for someone to match that, someone you can really sync with. still no man would want to marry his rival, this lady is going to try her  best to achieve her dreams and will probably not allow someone turn her into a walking womb, a trophy wife,  and it might lead to the inevitable break up, that might probably shatter you and make you feel lost, and you might end up going through the person‘s Facebook timeline over and over again even after you have unfriended the person(I am not talking about me)

The Desire is that you want someone sapiosexual that you can own, the myth is that when we find someone sapiosexual we are bound to be in love for the rest of our lives and such love burns eternally till the end.

Here is the reality, chances are those things that catch your fancy are just a share of the same ephemeralities now, and as they fade, you grow into people with differing interest unable to find a syncing factor you find yourself tethered to the same stranger you were afraid of all along Because of your rose colored glass you miss the red flags and feeling you have met the one, and you ignore the fact that the person might be a proud and conceited snob.

Chances are when you guys are well into your 30s and approaching 40s those things will not look as cute as they do now, and most ladies who are high on the intellectual side make up for it with a high moral decay as they set high standards for people they would relate with.
I am not saying there aren't women or men that are intelligent and cool but a suffering in anything at all give us an impulsive right to condescend and this is human nature, So when we go after people who we feel we are sapiosexually attracted to, we should know that most of these "advancement" and intellectual synchronicity comes at the expense of a catharsis we are can't rule off with just love.

In reality we are all cave men and with possible egos clashing like that if will be better if we are with the partner we consider sweet and convenient who remains stable and unchanging and provide us with an emotional ballast that we plummet too when the words are gone from our mouth and the intellectual push and strife we suffer from now beat us hands down to the same old people we swore we would never be like.

We might act as if we are in the modern times and these things don’t matter, and spouses can both be career chasing and keep a good relationship, sapiosexual and all, but we are all primal creatures and these impulse retch against a competitive relationship comes almost genetically, Hollywood actors are lucky as they usually find relationships like this with people who share their personal drive and they form the term "power couple" but we see the pressure of work putting a stress into their relationship and pulling them apart.

And when we come to think of it, what do you classify as having a sapiosexual relationship, you are just two clean slates who were exposed to the bible, Ralia the sugar girl, Hamlet, Sons and Lovers,  Naruto, One Piece,  some other books, some very similar quotes and share the same envy for Jay z and Beyonce, love for Boondocks and Game of thrones in that order, to be able to have conversation with for a few laughs and fan fiction sometimes it feels like it will be worth it as it might depict what true love is made of, but in truth in true love, love is not enough and if the basis of our happiness is one those things we might not be thinking long term, the truth is sapiosexualism is good, the myth and sometimes comes true is that you find a very intelligent person who is willing to leave all her desire and dreams to ride your helter skelter that is if the desire which is that she even stays intelligent for a long time and you don't exhaust her "intellect" and still finds a way to challenges you mentally till you are both challenged.

 But The reality is sapiosexualism fades and the girls who are intelligent make up for it in a very ignorable rut that we later find out when we carefully evaluate ourselves and our relationship with said person. And life is more than the mental aspect, when all falls down you don’t need a quote from hamlet to look into the eyes of your spouse and find the strength to live, love and love life again

by Victor Samuel