B, C & F

 

Love smacked me upside the head when I was fourteen or forty, If the same maturity would have threaded me through, why did I ever think there was a becoming that sustained company? Why didn’t I figure out that all I had to be was close and functional. I wanted a smelt, a forge of souls, forgetting it’s for excretion and I’m just another dingus. 
A soul would have to be combed out from this forest of craze, made in sieving, teaching, clinging, hoping clasped fingers say teach conscience to an impulse on that walk towards the dug beach. 
I’ve offered much to a seltzer, a chrysalis became butterfly, took flight and forgot and I stumble through the woods in chase, it became philosophical, search for meaning, and retaliation as god. 
Left, with bruises; self flagellation became orgiastic, this is just a vehicle says God, your mind is where it’s at. Mine have thirsted, for simple thing as good behaviour telling my tongue to behave itself, I see the ignorant filled. “its your fault for not ignoring ignorance” -”Well I minded for want to be a better host. -We can’t stand perfection”, it’s condescending, - Well sit, it’s at least energy conserving. “Be a fossil in my cave, unmoving” I say with withered flowers outside my doorstep - “It’s too clean, Where’s the fart?” Oh I have got fart!  I reach in behind me and straight to their nose, “it isn’t pungent enough” remiss, confused I remain the peered at like a mannequin, what attract zombies who only go where they are prodded?
Suffered too much and became chore and forgotten what were sacred, “sacred is ritualistic, who therefore can't do it unfeeling?” Some talk about a  type, maybe too of being one is painful, blackmails. “go have your fun I have had mine” but they don’t do a better they do the same run and attack, lunging at sand. I sit by the fire, I ike it here very much for The world not only seeks my notice but I also vet, or reject every stumble across  done intentional or not to affirm my humanity. 

“ It just about the same thing” I carry my baggage, can’t help but fear their inexhaustible zeal, What’s stopping them from seeing this dreadful monotony that haunts me, How can they keep being merry? And not flowing gently underneath, “oh I’m not going to be wasting time talking too much or arguing a point with a soon to be dead. I’d rather jump into  the read, quiet, doing the good, close and functional because aging is a haze and marriage is the first shade. To know that life was downwards climb is to shed first the senseless limbs and be preparedness. Had I known, I would have stopped at the first shade I found amputated a limb, enforcing a functional. Lucked out and wedged, I seem to laugh truly and deeply in the past. Blood call constantly on my attention and I put out, they sate and then it’s off to play. - ehn? Yes that’s all of life.  
The bible says to find them, is to find a goad thing and I am goaded to no where else but towards them, laving no peace of mind in their wake, when I posit to make my place,it was destroyed to force me into that same tired, and when tired would become me, I found strength in being sheer close and functional, sating them with the obvious the news, my shell and never the meat.
Marriage is basically foolishness and cunnilingus all that tunneling of the soul for a slight that fades like saliva in the heat, a tile tilted happy and useless, pick one and hold on to your anchor to reality. When it berates, spit fire, and makes mountains I listen attentively like an amputee wonder at my cross and thank the death quickened in being close and  functional.

Love don’t exist, it blows and it lists, it is the highest religion and like all religion it’s an opium that fades but we grab it’s wiry tail in being close and functional when it blows catch it, lists, be functional. 
No matter how intelligent you become, remember that liberation lies in sacrifice and not in greed, sacrifice for god is a dummy and so is money whose ore they know how to pay in blood and without thinking. There are no magic you withdraw what you deposit and just as freely, Blood is the ore of god, Life is a game, renouce if you want to enjoy.  When you find the first shade, amputate, be close and functional like the watch trickling away to that dug beach, functional.

e5